I know the answer to the problem, its right in front of my face, I can barely see it!!!! What I have been trying to say is that people are so FAKE!!!!! And that makes me SICK!!!!! First of all, no one is F%$#ing perfect, why do they pretend to be, why do people go out of their way to make their lives seem one way when its really not, they waste their precious time and effort putting on a mask and creating this elaborate show for people (who don’t even care)!!! And then become so angry and take it out on their loved ones simply because its tiring to do so. What the fuck is that?

Not to mention my fiancés family is just like this and so is mine! Get this, his father and mother don’t spend a lot of time together and of course leaving their other 4 children out of everything, their two youngest son play football, and they hated taking them to practice, going to their games, and participating as team parents, their dad was suppose to take them, but he always made his wife go ( she is a stay at home mom and maybe worked her ass off, but not really) while he sat on his ass and watched T.V. (see, he doesn’t have to leave home to go and work, nor did he have to work at all, but the man still brings home money) all they do is complain, complain, and complain!!!

When they have to make an appearance somewhere, they bring along everyone and dread every second of it!!! (just to pretend like they are one big *FAKE* happy family….. When visitors come they are yelling at everyone insulting each other to get the house clean!!!! ( they live in a really nice house and big too) but rarely clean it because of the size!!!! I say all this because I am a really honest person, I say things how I feel, and if I don’t agree with some one, I always let them know, I don’t hide things, I enjoy expressing myself….

Well this family hates me, and they say it to Garret every single day, I have never, once, been dishonest( “and so here is a contradiction” except when Garret asked me too) so when I am around they put on that mask and pretend they like me, I hate that so very much!!! I want to confront her about it, but he tells me I shouldn’t since they wouldn’t care anyway and anything I say wont get through to their brain.

The other day I was at the golfing range that Garrett’s father recently purchased with his friend, so that makes him only 50% owner, but seeing as though his friend already owns three other businesses, and is no joke, a millionaire ( he knows what he is doing) his father wants to jack up the prices and charge tax, when these customers never had to do it because of the prior owner. He is so selfish and money hungry, that now him and his friend are butting heads!!!! I can go on forever about this, I just need to let it go!!! But I cant because that’s just not me, there is always a solution, no matter how difficult it may be!! ……..

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So what is going on today? What went on yesterday? and what will probably go on tomorrow? Does it really matter? I mean, does it? It does to me! why shouldn't it? I have noticed that for some reason people (and I’m not saying that all people are like this) but just to generalize on the whole idea, those around me seem as though they walk as if they are almost zombie like, to elaborate a little bit more, its like they have this blindfold and cant see past what they have only been taught to do, think, or say. For instance, my fiancé and I have been looking at BMWs on the internet and thought that they were of course, really nice cars, not because they are BMWs, but because of the quality of the car. So we decided to go and take an actual look at the cars, and when we got there we were approached by a salesman and the first words out of his mouth were "How close are you to buying a car"? We said, "we are in the process of saving money, to make a down pay...... and without finishing my sentence he immediately became uninterested in us as people and providing us with good customer service. I asked if we could look at some cars and his response was you'll have to get the number and bring it in to me so I can get a key, walked away and left us there as if we were nobody. OK, his main goal is to sell cars, but in order for people to buy cars, they have to look at them first, why doesn’t anybody care about our needs just as much as we are expected to care about others. People are just rude!!! Another example is people are too judgmental. They care more about what you are wearing, where you live, what you drive etc... this has been an on going battle and is becoming worse everyday, now that it is affecting young kids at school, (and for that reason I believe all students must wear uniforms until they understand that we are all human beings) or why don’t the parents become more involved in teaching their children just a little bit about humanity, Imp not trying to blame anybody, just looking for solutions!!! You know that if it wasn’t this way, and we all lend out a helping hand and said hello to those we have never even met instead of look up and down at them to judge, they would want to do or give something back when another is in need, instead of being afraid, this is a mad world we live in. I cant believe that we are even stealing from our own people and hurting our own people. I just don’t get it! How can someone take something that doesn’t belong to them, yes a lot of people do it and have always done it, Its so F/ing wrong (I’m not naive), but why, why cant that person go out and work make the money and buy it, ( the other night in my mom's friends neighborhood there were two cars that were broken into, and one of them was a brand new Chrysler 300 with 22s , the very next morning the owner was leaving for work and noticed his car was on top of bricks, ones that belong to the neighbor across the street, the following three days a woman’s car was broken into and her purse was stolen luckily she had no cash and all credit cards, those people were so angry because she only had credit cards, that they drove off throwing them at the other houses. Because of this and many more reasons, we are afraid to walk out late at night, or we have to hide our things, and or mix up our daily routines just to feel safe, this is all crazy!!! I have always felt this weight on my shoulders to help everyone even those who have hurt me, walked on me, have broken me, I have always been able to be who I am, and not allow those to affect me and take anything away or change me. Why is that? I ask myself. I sometimes become so upset with myself because I cant approach the situation and change it, I need to let it go and let it be, I just want to not care, I cant do anything about it!!! I’m ready to go to bed. I'll finish explaining this tomorrow........

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Yay! I love you Nat-halie I finished your site so start writing cool stuff okay. =)

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